Well...

[wolfwings]

...I'm now the owner of a white 2001 Ford Escort.

Formerly a Fleet Vehicle for Warner Brothers.

With a rebuilt engine my mechanic did less than 2000 miles ago.

For $1700.

SCORE!

Now to go get a job. Just need to fraggin' write a resume. Always has been my largest obstacle, my second being trying to unwrap my job history since I've worked such a strange and wide variety of jobs over the years.

Comments

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Did you want me to send you the PDF of your old one?

Yes!

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

Please do!

[lionman.livejournal.com]

So, where are the pictures and the plans for modifying the vehicle? ;-)

Re: Yes!

[kensan-oni.livejournal.com]

Did you get it, sweety?

[shepherdwolf.livejournal.com]

Congrats on the car! :) But be warned: if you do crazy mods to your car, especially one like an Escort, then by Internet Law you have to go join http://community.livejournal.com/motor_furs/profile , and then you lose your soul.

In other news, I too worked a freakish variety of jobs in completely different industries, and the way I /JUST/ got half a dozen offers is this: [I know you didn't ASK for help, but you sound like you might appreciate it!]

Pick your four best characteristics. Think broad; what are companies looking for? IT stuff? Customer service? Did you train people? What are your core competencies? Think of stuff that's going to be valuable to the companies you're applying to.

Start out with those, after your mission statement.

This is done to summarize what you'll bring to the table, and create a cohesive link among all your places of work. It says This is what I can do for you, instead of forcing them to skim through all your work experience.

My resume looks like this:

NAME
CONTACT INFO

Dedicated, experienced sales professional seeks an environment that does not make him want to claw his eyes out or strangle people.

Sales. Experienced in dealing with all types of people in various structures. Familiar in a variety of different industries.
Management. Comfortable and experienced in driving sales team to meet weekly and yearly goals. Experienced with scheduling and floor management, and driving and developing employees.
Training. Able to master product lines and procedures in order to train at all levels. Responsible for determining the need for, and implementing, new training.
Writing. Capable of clear, concise writing in a number of mediums, including print, flyers, newsletters, and bitchy posts in Livejournal.

Honestly, for people who have experience all over the place (like my retail/ veterinary medicine/ mental health receptions/ reporter background), this is by far the best, because its very skimmable and you can make yourself come off however you want.

Unfortunately...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

...that doesn't help much. I've had no less than a dozen people try to explain resume's to me. I simply do not understand how any of the parts are labelled, and many of the parts show up in my mind as nonsense. Mission statement? What? I want to get payed for work, why else would I be applying to your company? That's the way, literally, my mind works. Anything else feels like lying. At it's core I want to trade my time for your money so I can trade that money to others for their time indirectly or directly. That's how literal and double-think-proof my mind works.

Re: Unfortunately...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

And just to be complete, I've had at least a half-dozen people write resumes for me. Computers have done another three or four. None of them make any sense to me, and come off as one gigantic layer of bullshit and hubris every time I try (and never succeed) in reading them all the way to the end.

Re: Unfortunately...

[chythar.livejournal.com]

TO be honest, resumes ARE bullshit. You shouldn't outright lie on them, but people have and still do. It's all about putting the right spin on yourself to get the person reading it to hire you. It's a sales pitch, pure and simple.

I still have a hard time myself with a resume, but I manage.

Re: Unfortunately...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

I give up then. Sales is something I patently, and knowingly, suck at. And I've never yet, not a single time, gotten a job from a resume.

I've been beating my head against the wall trying to write a resume all day today while I had a day off, and I have, basically, zero progress to show for it.

At this point, don't wait up for me for that job. I'm just holding things up because I can't overcome this inability to sacrafice my morals or overcome this mental block or whatever that stops me from doing a resume.

Re: Unfortunately...

[chythar.livejournal.com]

Bah, it's not a moral issue. A resume simply lists the skills you learned at a job, in a way a business person will understand. Managerial buzzwords help, and there are lists of those words online.

If you can't put a spin on it, just list it in your own way; your own words. List your responsibilities at each job and skills learned while there.

A mission statement is really bullshit. But it tells the interviewer what your goals are. No one really wants to hire someone who says they just want the money, they want someone who really wants to be there. Who can contribute to the company as a whole, not just take up space. Someone who has a career in mind.

What are your career goals? Let's say you want to make a career in the web business. You're just starting out; you have experience, but none of it fits on a resume. What's your long-term career goal? Or put another way: if you get this job, where would you want your career to move to next? Doing ASP.NET, Databases, etc? Maintaining a network?

It's ok to say something like "To advance in the web industry in a position with a growing and dynamic firm." Distilled down, all it says is "I want a job with a company that's still growing."

Go to this site and read its examples, perhaps it will help:
http://www.quintcareers.com/resume_samples.html

Re: Unfortunately...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

The problem is, I don't have that driving desire at the tail-end of that example mission statement. I don't care if a company is growing, shrinking, transforming, or any other descriptive word. I care if they can pay me to work for them. It's not that I'm mercenary, but I honestly don't care about advancement, only doing a good job wherever I get hired, for whatever I get hired for.

I wish I had 'career goals' but I've simply never had any. I want to work, and as a side-effect I learn a lot of different skills. I know what things I'm particularly skilled at and/or able to pick up at the drop of a hat, but I simply do not have any powerfully strong need, or wind or even star to steer my course by. I dearly wish I did, but strong drive seems to be one of the things I am most sorely lacking.

Hell, my longest single employment that is in many ways my most theoretically valuable position, working for Mark, has never had any kind of official name given to my role. Most of my jobs have been like that, even high-tech ones, I've had more experience driving than I've had in a titled position, and the 18 months I was a security guard more than doubled the amount of time I've held a position with an title of any sort.

Re: Unfortunately...

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

I am reading through that site you linked to though, this isn't trying to be a complete 'blow off' but (as usual) I honestly can't seem to make any progress because I simply can't map "normal" resumes to the situations I have to document, without it degenerating into some kind of diary-like structure or one that rings every single snake-oil alarm in my head so I discard as worthless and try again.