Am I really such a horrible person?

[wolfwings]

I've been talking with my landlord/boss/friend sysable or Mark Merlino as most of you may know him as.

It's come to my attention that numerous people, including specifically ben_raccoon find me to be, to put it bluntly, an asshole.

So, I'm posting this as an open question. Have I really turned into that much of an asshole as of late towards everyone, or have I always been one, and simply not known it and/or been fooling myself that I was a good person? =-.-=

It seems like everyone and everything I care about has been slipping through my fingers, and it really, royally, sucks. dragonballx is something I was all raring-to-go for, but I can barely get the energy up to read the existing stuff, let alone post anything. And that's what was my driving force for a while, to say nothing of other things like all the Yahoo Groups I belong to.

I guess this is a huge post to ask for thoughts, especially from those that may not like me, as to how I can improve, or at least what they've seen me do wrong specifically so I can search for a way to improve, even if they can't tell me how.

And yes, I should be in bed, but I just can't get to sleep. =-.-=

Comments

[lionman.livejournal.com]

Sometimes life gets us so busy that we lose track of the things that are important to us. And sometimes we put too much on our plate that we become overly busy with projects and things we want to do. It's important to know what our limits are in terms of things we can be actively involved in.

If you exceed that limit by much, things start to falter, and you become over-taxed. Could that be more of the case here? Are you without the time to do all the things you'd hoped to do, as well as you'd like to do them, and thus seem to come off as an asshole?

I know my opinion of you is biased, puppy. But, these are just some of my first thoughts about what you've said and posted here.

*sighs* I've NEVER had time to do everything I want to. =-.-=

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

My biggest obstacle, is that I do the most 'mental' work just before I go to sleep. I can write term papers faster and easier in the late evening or early morning before going to sleep, than I can when I first wake up.

I run on a distinct curve. Physical ability draining into mental ability as a function of how long I've been awake.

And with all the computer-type 'mental' things I like to do, I usually find myself torn between getting enough sleep for work, and being up until I can even grok some of the code I write, let alone write more of it. I simply cannot code first thing in the morning, but neither can I dig a trench after being up for 36-48 hours, what seems to be my 'natural' sleep cycle without outside stimuli. Awake for 36-40, asleep for 8-12, repeat.

So, yes, I think that may be part of it.

I'll think about what, if anything, I can step back from most easilly. :-)

Re: *sighs* I've NEVER had time to do everything I want to. =-.-=

[lionman.livejournal.com]

I feel for the problems with time constraints, I really do. You just have to decide what the important things are and ..well, tie them down, make time for them and let the lesser things diminish. If your friends are on that list of things that you have to give less time to, and they really are your friends, then they'll still be your friends when they get bumped back up on your priority list.

Decide just how much you can handle on your plate at once, then try not to volunteer for more. It'll take some experimenting at first, to decide where your reasonable limits are, and where you're more comfortable doing as much as you -need- to do, and not more than that.

*LionHUG* You'll get there, it'll just take some time to find the right balance. But that's the rub, isn't it, finding just the right balance? :-)