Am I really such a horrible person?

[wolfwings]

I've been talking with my landlord/boss/friend sysable or Mark Merlino as most of you may know him as.

It's come to my attention that numerous people, including specifically ben_raccoon find me to be, to put it bluntly, an asshole.

So, I'm posting this as an open question. Have I really turned into that much of an asshole as of late towards everyone, or have I always been one, and simply not known it and/or been fooling myself that I was a good person? =-.-=

It seems like everyone and everything I care about has been slipping through my fingers, and it really, royally, sucks. dragonballx is something I was all raring-to-go for, but I can barely get the energy up to read the existing stuff, let alone post anything. And that's what was my driving force for a while, to say nothing of other things like all the Yahoo Groups I belong to.

I guess this is a huge post to ask for thoughts, especially from those that may not like me, as to how I can improve, or at least what they've seen me do wrong specifically so I can search for a way to improve, even if they can't tell me how.

And yes, I should be in bed, but I just can't get to sleep. =-.-=

Comments

[lionman.livejournal.com]

Sometimes life gets us so busy that we lose track of the things that are important to us. And sometimes we put too much on our plate that we become overly busy with projects and things we want to do. It's important to know what our limits are in terms of things we can be actively involved in.

If you exceed that limit by much, things start to falter, and you become over-taxed. Could that be more of the case here? Are you without the time to do all the things you'd hoped to do, as well as you'd like to do them, and thus seem to come off as an asshole?

I know my opinion of you is biased, puppy. But, these are just some of my first thoughts about what you've said and posted here.

[dennisthetiger.livejournal.com]

Maybe not an asshole - an asshole is...well, think Denis Leary. =^_^= There's also an undercurrent of pride to go along with it.

I think where the problem lies is that many people/furs/whatever who are hackers tend to not be adaptable socially. In short, when you get along with the computer at those levels, people sort of fall by the wayside, and you seem intense to them. One loses patience with these types simply because they don't hit your expectations as fast ("What? How come you can't figure out that 'kill -HUP `ps -A | grep X`' is another way you kill X from a prompt as root?").

(OK, that's a bad way to work kill, I know.)

So is it wrong? I don't know. I'm not the one to answer that. I wouldn't even necessarily say it's a fault. But if it's a trait you want to get rid of, don't expect it to go away overnight.

a definshion of a person

[katvixen.livejournal.com]

wolfy wolf... I personally never thaugh of you as an asshole. I believe we don't think or live on teh same mental plane. Whut is earth shattering important to me is liek 14 on your list. I find i think of you more like a wolf / cub who is learning as he goes along. mucth like a normal wolf would if thay where rouges. You are a bold person, who don't know when you may be stepping on peoples tailes til that yelp. It is all apart of the learning and growing experance.

OK that is my two cents and i have argued more with you then anyone (besides your mother)

always playful Baping
Kat Vixen

FWIW

[ssurgul.livejournal.com]

You only barely know me, and that mostly through others.

However, I'll be blunt as well. Over my years in the furry-dom, I've heard a lot of people speaking badly of you. I know my own personal interaction with you at Baycon (I was the one taking pics of you fighting) was less than positive.

My last partner, however, had the same mental situation you do. It leads to a whole lot of socially-unacceptable bluntness without any insight into why these things were taken amiss. As a perfect example, this ex said one day that 'You have no clue....' when what he meant was 'You have no idea....' Telling someone they have no clue is less than polite, while telling someone they have no idea is just fine. He saw no difference between them until it was pointed out to him, and even then he didn't really seem to 'get it'.

I'm not really sure what to say beyond that. I do find you attractive physically, and such, but your outlook makes it difficult to want to talk to you, knowing that at any moment, you'll say something purely innocently that will come across as a hideously bad insult. I didn't like the added strain of having to be on guard against that with my ex 24/7, and it's not something very many, at all, will be comfortable trying to maintain. I guess that's the only thing I can say is to try and understand that you may be insulting someone a great deal, without even meaning to, and that it's best to try and make others aware of it beforehand, until they really get to know you.

If you'd like to chat further, I'm certainly available.

[mira-fastfire.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles* You are NOT an asshole. Assholes are people from PoE.

Yes, some people speak badly of you...specifically, that you're irresponsible, like that time when Oneesan picked me up. That kind of thing.

It sure as HELL doesn't stop me from loving and trusting you as much as I do. People think I'm an asshole too, so let's run away and be a pair of 'em!! ;)

[dustmeat.livejournal.com]

Naw, you are really hyper and talk really fast and cannot stand feces, but you are not an asshole ;)

[manawolf.livejournal.com]

You're not an asshole. You are, however, scatterbrained and easily distracted. ;) I know some of your mannerisms come across as bragging or as being very self-centered - this is what others have told me, not my view, so I couldn't be as clear as perhaps I ought in regards to that.

If anything you could stand to learn to step back from the shinies and evaluate how other people are reacting & feeling, take those factors into consideration. You're never deliberately mean or thoughtless, all your friends know this, but putting a little more thought into how your words & actions affect others would not be undue. IMHO. Any personal improvement you should choose to embark upon should be due to your own evaluations & goals.

Read dragonballx! Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaad! :D

[jade-darkness.livejournal.com]

ok so now it's my turn to comment on this....


I would have to say in the typical form of the word, no your not an asshole. But also i like to think of it this way, everyone is an asshole according to someone else and everyne is an asshole in some way that another person isnt, i could be considerd an asshole because of my nasty attitude, wich very few have been treated with. you could be considerd an asshole because your views on what is acceptable decisions doenst match someone elses (example v-chan's standing on the laguna beach thing). Yes your logic is different than alot of ours, considering everyone has thier own different logic, the majority of people grew up with the same type of logic but applied in different ways if i'm making any sense here which i'm probably not.

However i dont consider you an asshole unless yoru acting like one, and EVERYONE has their moments, just some more than others. Then again you know me, i'll let you know when your acting like one. I could come up with dozens of words to describe you but as i will not get into that right now because i'm falling asleep and in state of missing the bunny again my mind is starting to wander so i think thats all. If it doesnt make sense sorry but in short

No your not an asshole though sometimes you do act like one.

[drewkitty.livejournal.com]

1) You're not an asshole. You were raised by humans. Decent humans, amazingly. This puts you a half-step out of sync with everyone else. You never learned to be consistently irrational.

2) Anyone who goes out of their way to point out that they think you're an asshole has a hidden agenda. It may be a desire to genuinely help you . . . but then again, it may be a desire to get something out of you.

3) I am a card-carrying dyed-in-the-wool 100% pure grade asshole. That's one of the ways I know you're not one.

4) Everyone has three things: an opinion, an anus, and what I delicately like to call "issues." Some people see their issues glaringly reflected by you, and can't handle it.