Am I really such a horrible person?

[wolfwings]

I've been talking with my landlord/boss/friend sysable or Mark Merlino as most of you may know him as.

It's come to my attention that numerous people, including specifically ben_raccoon find me to be, to put it bluntly, an asshole.

So, I'm posting this as an open question. Have I really turned into that much of an asshole as of late towards everyone, or have I always been one, and simply not known it and/or been fooling myself that I was a good person? =-.-=

It seems like everyone and everything I care about has been slipping through my fingers, and it really, royally, sucks. dragonballx is something I was all raring-to-go for, but I can barely get the energy up to read the existing stuff, let alone post anything. And that's what was my driving force for a while, to say nothing of other things like all the Yahoo Groups I belong to.

I guess this is a huge post to ask for thoughts, especially from those that may not like me, as to how I can improve, or at least what they've seen me do wrong specifically so I can search for a way to improve, even if they can't tell me how.

And yes, I should be in bed, but I just can't get to sleep. =-.-=

Comments

[manawolf.livejournal.com]

You're not an asshole. You are, however, scatterbrained and easily distracted. ;) I know some of your mannerisms come across as bragging or as being very self-centered - this is what others have told me, not my view, so I couldn't be as clear as perhaps I ought in regards to that.

If anything you could stand to learn to step back from the shinies and evaluate how other people are reacting & feeling, take those factors into consideration. You're never deliberately mean or thoughtless, all your friends know this, but putting a little more thought into how your words & actions affect others would not be undue. IMHO. Any personal improvement you should choose to embark upon should be due to your own evaluations & goals.

Read dragonballx! Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaad! :D

As odd as this sounds, if you could direct those others to this entry, I'd appreciate it. :-)

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

As for other things, this whole journal post is to try to find out possible goals, along with perhaps build a network of others to get in touch with, that have any idea what-so-ever of problems they see me as having. Which of those I choose to follow up on is my call, but hearing all that are willing to talk certainly can't hurt. At worst, I hear something I don't see as a 'problem' worth working on, now or perhaps ever. At best, someone (as has happened already) can point out problems I have, that perhaps I can work further on both on my own and with outside help, perhaps not even the person pointing out the original problem. :-)

As for dragonballx I'll have tommorow off. I'll be reading it ALL tommorow if I can. =^.^= And maybe even writing if I can see a place to work myself in, and an find that person on-line on IMs to hash things out further with as well. :-)