Am I really such a horrible person?

[wolfwings]

I've been talking with my landlord/boss/friend sysable or Mark Merlino as most of you may know him as.

It's come to my attention that numerous people, including specifically ben_raccoon find me to be, to put it bluntly, an asshole.

So, I'm posting this as an open question. Have I really turned into that much of an asshole as of late towards everyone, or have I always been one, and simply not known it and/or been fooling myself that I was a good person? =-.-=

It seems like everyone and everything I care about has been slipping through my fingers, and it really, royally, sucks. dragonballx is something I was all raring-to-go for, but I can barely get the energy up to read the existing stuff, let alone post anything. And that's what was my driving force for a while, to say nothing of other things like all the Yahoo Groups I belong to.

I guess this is a huge post to ask for thoughts, especially from those that may not like me, as to how I can improve, or at least what they've seen me do wrong specifically so I can search for a way to improve, even if they can't tell me how.

And yes, I should be in bed, but I just can't get to sleep. =-.-=

Comments

[mira-fastfire.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles* You are NOT an asshole. Assholes are people from PoE.

Yes, some people speak badly of you...specifically, that you're irresponsible, like that time when Oneesan picked me up. That kind of thing.

It sure as HELL doesn't stop me from loving and trusting you as much as I do. People think I'm an asshole too, so let's run away and be a pair of 'em!! ;)

*chuckles* Thanks, beloved. *hugs close*

[wolfwings.livejournal.com]

I think... I have a different meaning of 'responsibility' than seems acceptable in society. =-.-= I try to do what is logical, and assume people will understand my actions too deeply, as my logic simply doesn't work for others. :-P

So that leads to many situations like the pickup that had to get redirected to Tess's house the other day. But for me, it's a base-level instinct to be that way. It seems to work so well for some things, like at Native American gatherings, but out in the 'real world' it definately breaks down somewhere, and that I can't figure out where specifically is an on-going problem I'll have to keep working at. :-/